Sunday, May 9, 2010

An Anti-Mother's Day Message

I am a special bastard.
Why begin with an anti-mothers day message? Lots of reason, but mostly I just cant stand compulsory crap. In my mind there are only three "real" holidays, real meaning days that are celebrated based on long standing religious or historical tradition, Christmas, Halloween and Thanksgiving. Of those three the only one I actually celebrate is thanksgiving, because gluttony is my favorite deadly sin. The rest are greeting card holidays, Hallmark holidays as many like to call them, manufactured excuses for us to all rush out and buy More crap we don't need. Today is one of the biggest of those made up days, mothers day.

Ah mothers day, the day when we all run out and buy flowers, some meaningless little piece of crap or just go out of our ways to call our mothers and say, "Mom, I feel socially obligated to tell you I love you today." how sweet.
The onslaught of mothers day sales should be more than enough for all of us to realize what today is really about, though the constant reminders on television to, "do something special for mom", are enough to make all but the most heartless bastards feel a tinge of guilt for not giving a crap about this made up holiday. Not me of course, I am one of those special bastards. For me, the only significance to mothers day is the fact that it marks the end of tourist season in my particular pocket of hell and I am always happy to celebrate that.

So I beg you, if you have a mother, DON'T CALL HER! Don't send her flowers and don't buy her so much as a card. The momentary guilt you may feel as the day comes to an end will quickly pass and a feeling of liberation will rush over you as you realize that you really don't have to do everything the t.v. Tells you to!
And if you are someones mother, then when your ungrateful children make their obligatory call to say happy mothers day, don't answer! Better yet, tell them to go fuck themselves! And that next year you wont be answering the phone because you have other shit to do and if they actually gave a crap they wouldn't need hallmark to remind them to call.

I thought I would try and end each entry with additional content related to the days post. Given the appalling lack of anti mothers day content on the web this was the most appropriate clip I could find. Enjoy.

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