Sunday, June 13, 2010

Austria Calls in Druids to Reduce Traffic Fatalities

Following a high number of fatal accidents along a particular stretch of highway near Salzburg Austria, the Austrian motorway authority has enlisted the help of Arch Druid Ilmar Tessmann, seen here on a recent visit to the Degobah system.:

And it's a good thing too. Otherwise they may never have known the fatal crashes were being caused by radiation being emitted from nearby mobile phone Towers. Which were apparently disrupting the area’s normal terrestrial radiation according to the arch druid.

In order to counteract this harmful radiation, Ilmar and his fellow druids placed quartz standing stones to restore the area's "Natural energy" but they didn't stop there. Aside from dowsing for pockets of "dark energy" these enterprising young druids also Incorporated a cheaper modern day alternative by burying plastic slates with magnets in the ground. The combination of which Ilmar claims has successfully counteracted the harmful effects of the mobile phone towers.

"If you ask me to give you a scientific explanation, I can’t, I just know it works, and even critics can’t argue with our success rate."
, said Ilmar.
Oh sure we can.

The Austrian motorway authority only went public with it's Druid roadway project after the Druids' efforts seemingly cut the number of deaths on the motorway from six to zero in two years. It should go without saying that a reduction of six over a two year period could easily be accounted for by a number of other factors, including simple chance. It's impossible however for me to say exactly what those factors might be as I'm not even entirely certain I was able to find the original source on this story. Much less any additional information on what may have led to the drop in fatal accidents in this particular area. But it's safe to say that placing quartz monoliths, dowsing for "dark energy", and burying plastic plates and magnets along side the highway had nothing to do with it.

First a link to The Metro article on this story, which is as far as I can tell the original source, or at least as close as I can find.
Then we have a link to someone on the other side of the issue, someone who doesn't find this story quite as ridiculous:Scott Michael Stenwick, who claims himself to be a Thelemite and ritual magician who has been practicing for more than 25 years. - Enjoy!

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